Saturday 28 July 2012

Believe

Believe in yourself and all you want to be. Don't let what other people say or do make you frown. Laugh as much as possible. Let in the good times and get through the bad. Be happy with who and where you are. You are in the right place, and your heart is leading you on the way to a great tomorrow. When circumstances seem difficult, pull through them.This will make you stronger than you think. The longer you practice the habit of working toward your dreams, the easier the journey will become...




Image from Pinterest

Sunday 22 July 2012

An Age Old Question

Do you have a 'scary' age? An age far enough in the distance that it seems un-obtainable yet common enough you know you'll reach it before Goldie Hawn. An age when you believe you should know what life is all about but you'd prefer to let others reach it and just tell you about it?

As a little girl (let's say 10 years of age) 25 was my Wow-You-Are-Now-An-Adult age. I distinctly remember daydreaming that at 25 I would be married with a major career - in what I had no idea but it would take me around the world - and would've popped out at least two kids. At 10, 25 seemed to me the ideal age. I would be old enough to be taken seriously, would've moved out of home and could go out whenever I wanted. How fabulous! Besides, if you were 25 you weren't too old to be, well...old.

25 was cool but as I reached the magic number, the thought of marriage and children left me cold. Marriage was for someone who was, you know, 30!

Now back in the day, 30 was the OMG-Now-You-Really-Are-An-Adult age. It was the year I assumed life got on track. As my Mum and Dad were in their 30s when they had me, their third and youngest child, I always believed I'd be in a similar position when the big 3-0 hit. Ha ha ha!

As someone who turned *insert drum roll here* 32 over the weekend, I'm still waiting for this magical track to appear and the Adult Wand to wave over me and declare that I am now a responsbile person with her s#^t together.

"Um...hello? I'm over here." Nope, the Master Wand Waver obviously can't find me among all the other 30 somethings holding on to their youth with gritted teeth, because despite the increasing figures hanging over my head, I am yet to see any evidence that I am gaining in maturity to warrant the increase in age.

Yes, I have a child but he's half the reason for my hesitation. Most days I'm rolling around on the floor with him, eating food off the floor after him and cleaning dirt, vegemite or poo off my clothes because of him. How can I be a big kid when I'm behaving like a little kid?

So this year I made an executive decision. Instead of getting older I would simply celebrate the second anniversary of my 30th birthday. It has a certain je ne sais quoi, don't you think? No? Ok then, I'll just blame my age increase on the Carbon Tax. That'll work.

Thursday 19 July 2012

Chick flicks and football: Never shall the two meet


It is my belief that a woman should be left to watch chick flicks in private. Define chick flick? Any movie that I would love to be in; part of; or daydream about is categorised as a chick flick in my head.

Think: Legally Blonde; Sex And The City; Bridget Jones' Diary; The Notebook; or just about ANYTHING with Ryan Gosling in it. See where I'm going with this?

Nothing dampens the spirit and essential essence of a chick flick more than having a man provide a running commentary on your chosen movie, always pointing out how ridiculous the storyline is. Worse still is when a man feels the need to explain why it is such a terrible movie by listing specific examples of actions taken by the paperweight characters or the agonisingly predictable dialogue.

Note to men the world over: WE ALREADY KNOW!

Please give us some credit. Yes, we know the frumpy and slightly awkward drunk woman will win the heart of her handsome, intelligent man in the end. Yes, we understand the likelihood of a ditzy bouncing blonde with an unhealthy obsession to the colour pink speaking in front of US Congress to let her gay dog get marrried is a little far-fetched, and even that a woman would be hardpressed to choose between Ryan Gosling and, oops...sorry, I mean 'Noah' and 'Lan' is ridiculous, but here's another tip: WE DON'T CARE!  

Seriously, I know it's all crap but I love nothing more than escaping to another room and watching a chick flick in private in order to immerse myself in the romanticism and adventure unfolding before me. After looking after a 17 month old toddler all day, I think the least I deserve is 90 minutes of fabulous hollywood dross. Wouldn't you agree?

Let's be honest, even if you're lucky enough to have a man who sits through chick flicks with you in...gasp!...silence, more often than not his silence is so loud! The heavy breathing (and not in a good way), the long sighs of bewilderment, and always moving on the couch to get comfortable is very off-putting. While he's there you can't sniff, wipe away tears or really get caught-up in the moment as much as you'd like to because you are constantly reminded of his presence.

Well, I say poop to that. Gimme a block of chocolate, a glass of red wine, a big blanket and a box of tissues to enjoy my cinematic feast of fluff and I'll be the happiest woman alive. Honestly, Teach would be happy with that arrangement too - as long as he was at the pub watching soccer.

Luckily Teach and I came to an understanding very early on in our relationship (funnily enough without an actual conversation ever taking place about this subject) that I would not ask him to watch a chick flick with me, if he never asks me to watch a football game with him. Deal!

After several years and a thousand movies later, I am very pleased to say that our agreement is still in perfect working order with no review in sight. Perhaps that's why we work? He understands my need for trash and I understand his need to trash talk to the TV, in private, without fear of being judged or harassed for crying during the closing credits. And that's just Teach! Don't get me started on what I do at the end of a sob-fest movie!


Image: The Notebook from here

Saturday 7 July 2012

10 Ways to Beat Stress



Do you suffer from stress? If not, it is highly likely that you know someone who does. I recently read a magazine article that revealed 21 per cent of Australian women aged between 16 and 44 years suffered from an anxiety disorder. Surprisingly, I wasn't shocked by this statistic as I have previously struggled with anxiety.

Five years ago I was working as a PR Account Manager and had recently ended a long-term relationship. At the time, I thought my nailbiting, oversensitivity and severe acne were merely signs of trying to cope with work demands and very long hours in the office (and perhaps one to many glasses of red wine in the evenings) but thanks to several open and honest conversations with a few close girlfriends, a little research and soul searching, I realised I was living with anxiety.

My lightbulb moment came one friday afternoon when I couldn't get involved in a conversation with colleagues during after-work drinks, for fear of being judged, scrutinised and generally convinced that everyone hated me. The panic swept through my body at a rate of knots and I immediately made excuses of having a headache and jumped in the first cab home before I broke down in tears. I was so shocked by my actions and response to the situation, I knew instantly I needed to find out what was going on in my head.

Now, other than my closest friends and Teach, I have never spoken about my experience because I thought confiding in someone that I suffered anxiety would generate the same type of response as when you tell them you have a fear of spiders, the dark or black cats walking under ladders - they'd look at you in confusion and try to convince you otherwise. Besides, I didn't want to be judged (a double-edged sword for someone with anxiety!).

Honestly, I don't know why I have decided to reveal this to you now, but after reading the story on anxiety I felt compelled to share with you my 10 tips for beating stress and turning anxiety on its head because it is more common than we realise, and it can be resolved.

10 WAYS TO BEAT STRESS

1. MEDITATION
Relaxation is very important to allow your mind to breathe and reboot. Simple, slow breathing can work wonders to hep you feel grounded, at ease and re-energise your soul. If you're not one with meditation, try reading, a massage or having a bath. Any activity that eliminates noise and gives you 20 peaceful minutes to yourself.

2. DO THINGS YOU VALUE
Do you say 'Yes' to everyone and never yourself? Try taking on less or re-evaluate the duties you've been assigned and do the ones you find value in. Don't spread yourself too thin.

3. FAMILY AND FRIENDS
If you start feeling the signs of an anxiety attack coming on or your in a stressful situation, call your friends and family or pop over for a cup of tea. A good social support network can remind you that you are 'allowed' to be yourself, have fun and be comfortable.

4. RE-EVALUATE THE MOMENT
Picture yourself looking in to the scenario and try to view it from an outsider's perspective. Is it as bad as you think it is? Would someone else think, act or feel the same way in that situation? Sometimes by dis-engaging you can view it objectively and remove emotion. Afterwards, return to the moment and focus on the here and now, not the past or 'what if' of the future.

5. USE HUMOUR
Got a friend who always makes you laugh? Well, get chatting and have a side-tickling time. Finding the funny side of a situation can help reduce fear. Other simple ways to get laughing could include watching a funny DVD or spending time with kids - children can come up with the best one-liners!

6. A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
Alcohol is not the answer. Trust me! Eating nutrious food, getting adequate sleep and regular excerise all help to fight daily stresses. Personally, I found exercise gave me one hour to myself each day to think (see Point 1) and recharge the batteries.

7. POSITIVE THINKING
Thanks to the number one best seller 'The Secret', the power of positive thinking got a bad wrap, but it worked for me. By turning the negative thoughts I was having about myself into positive affirmations I started feeling better about myself. The simplicity of: "I am an intelligent and valuable person" is very powerful. Find one that suits you and write it down. Read it as often as you need to.

8. LEARN TO SAY NO
Similar to Point 2, learning to say No is crucial to develop boundaries. You don't need to do everything to win other's approval, so be honest to yourself and to others from the beginning. If they don't like it, they aren't worth having around.

9. PRIORITISE YOURSELF
If you are stressed, exhausted and anxious to the point of burnout you will have trouble being of any use to yourself, let alone someone else. Value You!

10. SELF COMPASSION
Remember the Ben Lee song, "We are all in this together". You are not alone and we all feel stressed at some time. Take comfort in the knowledge that you are meant to be here and you are loved.


These tips are a combination of my own thoughts and points sourced from Madison Magazine. 

Wednesday 4 July 2012

Forever Young



Words can not convey emotions felt in one's heart.
Actions are no consolation for your sudden absence.
Only love, strength and courage will carry us forward one day at a time;
Like the memory of your smile, laughter and unbreakable spirit will live on in each of us left behind.

Forever young.
Forever a friend.
Forever a brother-in-law gone too soon.


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