Friday 9 November 2012

Juggle Junction


Networking has always been an element of my job I rather despise. Trying to get to know people, what they do, where they do it, and then deciding in a brief moment whether or not they could be a good connection. It's so forced and fake. Besides, there are only so many times you can start a conversation with, "Come here often?" before you're mistaken for someone looking for a good time...

Needless to say, I've never been keen on networking. There seems to be an element of pressure to perform, and showcase just how fabulous you are to acquire new business, or heaven forbid, create a new friendship which is entirely self-motivated. Yuck!

The reason for my nostagalic vomit, is a friend of mine recently followed her heart's passion and launched her very own networking website for professional Australian women. But unlike good old fashion face-to-face chin wagging, a website is the perfect platform to meet, connect and talk to women while you're safe and sound at home, in your pyjamas with your deep cleansing mask on while sitting propped up on your cushy European pillows in bed (and yes, that is exactly what I'm doing now).

Juggle Junction is a new online community where women of any age, background, employment status and 'life journey' are encouraged to...well...network. Be it as part of one of the many specialised groups (think Women in Business / Teachers / At Home Mums etc...) or just as a one-off question for other women in that group to answer.

It also offers great reads (ah hem...I might submit a few stories here and there), the chance to start your own private forums, ask for a little mentoring, reply to other users asking questions and generally access the brilliant minds (mine not so much brilliant as it is dazed and confused that randomly blurts out crap) in a private, non-judgemental and comfortable manner.

I'll be honest. When Nicole first told me about Juggle Junction and invited me to contribute regular columns, I was a little sceptical of its value. Does Australia really need another website for women to talk? Um... what other websites are there Sian? NONE!

Of course there are websites for Mums to seek advice and support, but I'm more than a Mother. Yes, there are websites for career networking, but I'm more than what I do for my fortnightly pay cheque. Hence the beauty of Juggle Junction. It skillfully mixes all these aspects of my life to be a one-stop-shop for me - a woman who happens to work, be a Mum, loves reading, cooking, shopping and having a laugh with good friends and could sometimes use a helping hand. I'm yet to find any other website that offers all of that in one place.

Needless to say the more I jump on, follow conversations, read all those well written, witty articles (nudge nudge wink wink say no more), ask questions and provide my own advice as part of a larger discussion, I do feel part of a valued community. Yes, I can interact as much or as little as I want to, but just like anything else, I feel like I gain more from it once I actively put more of myself in to it.
 
Juggle Junction is a rapidly growing website for women to connect, support and inspire other women. What can be so bad about that? Besides, until 31 December 2012 a 12 month membership to Juggle Junction is free. Ka-Ching!

Please take a look for yourself and let me know what you think. Visit Juggle Junction.


Image via here

Wednesday 7 November 2012

5 things I'm loving about Brisbane right now...


I have to admit as a Mother to a very vivacious and energetic toddler (um, btw he's almost 2!!!) and returning to (paid) work after maternity leave, the thought of packing a suitcase for a relaxing holiday at some exotic location is more than a little frightening. Anyone remember National Lampoon's Vacation? Eek, the horror!

Despite this, I'm in desperate need of a vacation/timeout/respite {insert appropriate escape word here} without my beautiful little boy. Yes, I love him but Mumma needs a break every now and then. FYI by 'exotic' I mean anywhere other than Townsville and by 'holiday', I mean just one night when I don't have to put E to bed at 7pm then go out.

Anywho, as a result of my hesitation to venture off on a family getaway, I've taken it upon myself to rediscover my city and holiday at home. I've decided I will just force myself in to a state of relaxation and tranquil calm in good old Brisvegas. If people come here to holiday from arond the world, why can't I? I might even contemplate wearing ironed clothes and applying make-up to leave the house. Jeepers!! 

Here are 5 things I'm loving about Brisbane right now:

1. Early morning coffee and savoury mince on toast at Pearl Cafe. No explaination required.

2. Cocktails and dumplings at Brunswick Social. A word to the wise, if you plan on eating, book a table or do as I did and arrive at 5pm without a booking. It wont matter that you haven't reserved a seat at a common table top in this hip new spot, you'll arrive so early no-one else in their right mind will be there (unless you go after work in which case you're screwed).

3. The sun is warmer. The days are longer and the drinks are in easy reach. Nothing beats watching movies under the stars at Limes Hotel thanks to its outdoor cinema and rooftop bar only a few feet away. Cosmopolitan anyone?

4. Packing a blanket, hat and the latest read for little R&R by the water in Manly followed by a stroll through the Jan Power Farmers Markets or splurging on a bucket of prawns and glass of bubbles at Wilson's Boathouse Seafood Restaurant.

5. Enjoying live music with friends on a Friday night at Brisbane Powerhouse. If you happen to pop in one week in November, you'll have the chance to catch fabulous folkies Women in Docs who take up residence at the Turbine Stage for the month. See the girls perform a range of their hits plus new songs from their upcoming album. P.S. It's FREE! 

What do you like to do when you can't go away on holiday? Any secrets for a little R&R at home?

Image: Limes Hotel

Wednesday 10 October 2012

Home Sweet Home

Me, E and Nanna at the Aquarium
What a difference a holiday makes! Teach, E and I returned to Brisbane on Sunday after two glorious weeks in Townsville, our home town.

While getting away is a fantastic opportunity to explore new locations, relax from the 9 to 5 and generally escape reality; going home to spend time with your parents and in-laws isn't normally what springs to mind when you start planning a family holiday, but this time 'round, we couldn't comprehend an alternative.

Our initial motivation to venture north was to attend my brother in-laws nupitals. Knowing school holidays would be in full swing and Teach had time off, we decided to stay on to allow E to develop stronger relationships with his extended family and enjoy the down time ourselves, of course.

As both of mine and Teach's parents still live in the "Ville" going back to our homeland was just what we, the grandparents, cousins, auntys, uncles, godparents and, most importantly, E needed.

From play dates at The Strand, to watching big Sharks swim overhead at the Aquarium, to spending afternoons under the hose in the back yard (a traditional way to spend a hot NQ afternoon), our holiday was just that; a getaway with no stress, no accommodation hiccups at 3am or horrific travelling experiences (remember Darwin?!) with a crying baby.  

We feasted on home cooked meals, caught up with friends, had a choice of babysitter if we wanted to go out (that in itself was worth the trip!) and E always had someone to take him to the park/pool/beach/shops if he was getting restless at home.

I've never been more relaxed in my life and I belive I can safely assume Teach feels the same way.

While venturing somewhere new for a family holiday is always an exiting option, sometimes the act of keeping it simple with a destination you know is truly the best case scenario for everyone.

Only problem is returning to reality to find your support network is gone but your child's expectation of park play dates remains the same... Eeek!



Friday 7 September 2012

My Heart Belongs To Daddy


Growing up I was always a Daddy's girl. I didn't realise this until years later when I moved out of home and no longer had my Father protecting the front door. Not from boys, I might add, from myself!

"Don't upset your Mother," he said sternly when I arrived home after midnight at 17 years of age, the first time I ever borrowed the car. "You know what she's like. She's worried." 

At the time I thought it was very nice of him to warn me of what had been happening back at the fort, while I was burning around town in the family Mitsubishi Colt with my hot new licence, but the beauty of hindsight allows me to understand he was simply telling me what he wanted to say, only using Mum as the diversion.

He was upset too, but it was Mum I had to snuggle up to and promise that I'd never do it again. As Daddy's little girl, sometimes you'd just get away with it, within reason of course!

Fathers are very proud of their daughters. I can grasp the magnitude of this now as a parent myself.

The time we spent together driving to and from dancing competitions in other regional cities near Townsville would've killed other fainted heart Dads. Not mine. He'd spend hours sitting in uncomfortable plastic chairs waiting for me to perform, only to drive my Mother and I home again at the end of the day. Up to eight hours round trip.

Some weekends he'd be lucky and I'd have to dance on both Saturday and Sunday so he got to sleep in a manky hotel for the night and have somewhere else to go during the day, but more often than not he'd happily turn around on Saturday afternoon and drive the fours hours home, tired, with only a roadside-house coffee or a chicko roll to ease the pain.

This tradition lasted more than 15 years, and I remember it like it was yesterday. It was our special time.Of course I was crazy jealous of my brothers when they were chosen to go away with Dad on car trips and I wasn't, but looking back I realise we had our own adventures, in-jokes and favourite car songs they wouldn't have had.

As I grow older and my own family develops, I see Dad more clearly and appreciate his devotion to his family. Without this I honestly believe I would not be the person I am today. 

My father is an intelligent, loyal, devoted, loving, passionate family man who is fiercely protective, yet at the same time more than willing to let you go and live your own life.  He's instilled a sense of adventure in me that I don't believe I would've developed myself because he always said I could achieve whatever I set my mind to.

His advice and support throughout the years has given me the strength and confidence to take each new step in my life. Whether that step was backwards or forwards, I knew he was there, somewhere, a few steps behind watching and only offering advice if I asked for it. 

Our weekly (sometimes fortnightly) conversations on the phone are often short and sweet, never quite revealing anything new. I'm always "same old, same old," but what I really wish I could say is: Thank you Dad. Thank you for loving me and my brothers with every bone in your body and giving us the best life three kids could ever ask for - even if you did throw away my favourite (and perfectly good) toy clothes line when I was 2.

Here's to you, a very belated Father's Day messge; I love you Dad. High Beam!

Tuesday 21 August 2012

A Californian Darling.

It is no secret (see profile notes to the right) that I am a touch obsessed with the delightful, witty and charming Ms Witherspoon (obviously, I assume she is as I describe her because that's the fantasy in my head and no one can tell me otherwise!) therefore it should come as little surprise that I'm swooning over pictures of her amazing Ojai home in the current issue of Elle Decor.

From the high wooden ceilings, to the wrought iron chairs on the Terrace overlooking the lavish grounds, this house is truly stunning in its beautiful simplicity...in my humble opinion.

Cute. Charming. Classy. Just like its owner.









Wednesday 15 August 2012

A Promise or Four



If 2012 was suppose to be the year the world ended, it's certainly spinning fast enough to fly straight off its axis. Blink and we'll miss it.

In an attempt to slow-down, take stock and simply enjoy the year a little more before it's over, I have made a list of activities, and must-dos I simply, well, must-do before I bid farewell to 2012 and find myself saying in January, "this year I really should start...{insert subject of interest here}".

Friends and family will be the first to tell you I'm a tragic I'll-Do-It-One-Day kinda girl, but now I fear that day has found me and is urging me to havago.

Unfortunately now I've told you about it, I have to do it. I'm accountable for my actions and worse still, I'm forcing myself to share all the details with you one blog post at a time. Bum. Poo. Wee!

As there are four months remaining in the year, here are four activities in no particular order, I aim to accomplish before 31 December 2012 {drum roll please}...

1. Yoga: Formerly a yoga devotee, I gave it away when I discovered red wine. Understandable really. Now I'm awake before 7am every day and no longer have a child dependent on Thelma and Louise, I don't have a reasonable excuse to leave my orange yoga mat under the bed much longer. It has been 6 years!

2.  Swim: I have never liked swimming. Yes, I'll splash about in a pool and frolic in (small) waves but the thought of following a black line for an hour leaves me short of breath. Or, that is, it use too. It's not clear whether it's the smell of chlorine from Teach's swimming towel most mornings or the appeal of a no-impact sport that has this old duck quacking, but I'm going to give a crack.{Mum, stop laughing!}

3. Read: I hereby vow to put down the TV remote control and read the 5 books that have each been started, yet sit neglected beside my bed. Glossy womens magazines are not included in this promise - they're half the reason I don't open the hardbacks!

4. Cook: The cupboard above our stovetop is full, neigh, overflowing of cookbooks by Jaime Oliver, Donna Hay, The Women's Weekly, Maggie Beer, Nigella Lawson, Curtis Stone, and many others that all promise to have me cooking sumptuous meals with little effort, or at the very least, successfully with little skill. Julie & Julia I am not, but I will dedicate Sunday nights to exploring, tasting and hopefully achieving one new recipe from any one of the aformentioned Chefs. Lucky I'm going to start excercising again!

What would you like to achieve before the end of the year?

Thursday 9 August 2012

Head vs Heart

When life gives you lemons, it is a common assumption you'll make lemonade, right?

What if you attempt to make lemonade but while you're squeezing out all the juice you notice you're out of ice and sugar so you make a last minute decision to bake a lemon tart? Should I be disappointed with the outcome because I had my heart set on lemonade or embrace what I could create; a tasty tart?

What's with all the lemons?

Recently I mentioned my desire to start my own business, however, in my haste to make it happen and "achieve my dream" (vomit on a cliche!) it became abundantly clear that perhaps now isn't the right time to start and I need to focus on achieving my dream in smaller more managable pieces.

Voicing my concerns to Teach about building a comprehensive business and having it make money in 6 weeks to co-incide with my current contract ending, made us both weak in the knees.

Do I really want to put myself under that much pressure? Do I really want to put my family under that much pressure? Besides, when I do get to finally showoff my fabulous new career I want it to be AMAZING not average or worse still...ho-hum! 

So I decided to get realisitic and focus on what I can accomplish in a short-time frame and readjust my expectations - or at least trust that while my intuition is guiding me along the right path, I need to follow the path completely, not just expect to cross the finish line before I've done the leg work (again with the cliches!).

It will happen, I can feel it, but I wont rush in to something because I think I've finally cracked the clues spinning around in my heart and my head. After all, patience is a virtue. Or so I'm told.

Helen Thomas over at A Mother's Intuition says it very well: 
Part of the lesson in learning to follow your intuition is to let go of your attachment to outcomes. You cannot guarantee that making a particular decision (whether based on intuition or not) will guarantee the outcome you wish.

Image: The EveryGirl

Tuesday 7 August 2012

5 Regrets You Can Change

 


I have a sign hanging in my bathroom that reads: What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? 

It has hung (read: held up with blue tac) in the same spot, saying the same thing for two years, yet it wasn't until today that I read it to myself over and over again placing emphasis on each word to trying to harness the power of its message. What would I attempt to do if I knew I could not fail? Interesting...

I arrived at work a short time later and opened an email from a girlfriend who is supporting me through the ups and downs, uncertainity and confusion surrounding my desire to start my own business. I knew I would not fail if I shared it with you.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."
Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

Saturday 28 July 2012

Believe

Believe in yourself and all you want to be. Don't let what other people say or do make you frown. Laugh as much as possible. Let in the good times and get through the bad. Be happy with who and where you are. You are in the right place, and your heart is leading you on the way to a great tomorrow. When circumstances seem difficult, pull through them.This will make you stronger than you think. The longer you practice the habit of working toward your dreams, the easier the journey will become...




Image from Pinterest

Sunday 22 July 2012

An Age Old Question

Do you have a 'scary' age? An age far enough in the distance that it seems un-obtainable yet common enough you know you'll reach it before Goldie Hawn. An age when you believe you should know what life is all about but you'd prefer to let others reach it and just tell you about it?

As a little girl (let's say 10 years of age) 25 was my Wow-You-Are-Now-An-Adult age. I distinctly remember daydreaming that at 25 I would be married with a major career - in what I had no idea but it would take me around the world - and would've popped out at least two kids. At 10, 25 seemed to me the ideal age. I would be old enough to be taken seriously, would've moved out of home and could go out whenever I wanted. How fabulous! Besides, if you were 25 you weren't too old to be, well...old.

25 was cool but as I reached the magic number, the thought of marriage and children left me cold. Marriage was for someone who was, you know, 30!

Now back in the day, 30 was the OMG-Now-You-Really-Are-An-Adult age. It was the year I assumed life got on track. As my Mum and Dad were in their 30s when they had me, their third and youngest child, I always believed I'd be in a similar position when the big 3-0 hit. Ha ha ha!

As someone who turned *insert drum roll here* 32 over the weekend, I'm still waiting for this magical track to appear and the Adult Wand to wave over me and declare that I am now a responsbile person with her s#^t together.

"Um...hello? I'm over here." Nope, the Master Wand Waver obviously can't find me among all the other 30 somethings holding on to their youth with gritted teeth, because despite the increasing figures hanging over my head, I am yet to see any evidence that I am gaining in maturity to warrant the increase in age.

Yes, I have a child but he's half the reason for my hesitation. Most days I'm rolling around on the floor with him, eating food off the floor after him and cleaning dirt, vegemite or poo off my clothes because of him. How can I be a big kid when I'm behaving like a little kid?

So this year I made an executive decision. Instead of getting older I would simply celebrate the second anniversary of my 30th birthday. It has a certain je ne sais quoi, don't you think? No? Ok then, I'll just blame my age increase on the Carbon Tax. That'll work.

Thursday 19 July 2012

Chick flicks and football: Never shall the two meet


It is my belief that a woman should be left to watch chick flicks in private. Define chick flick? Any movie that I would love to be in; part of; or daydream about is categorised as a chick flick in my head.

Think: Legally Blonde; Sex And The City; Bridget Jones' Diary; The Notebook; or just about ANYTHING with Ryan Gosling in it. See where I'm going with this?

Nothing dampens the spirit and essential essence of a chick flick more than having a man provide a running commentary on your chosen movie, always pointing out how ridiculous the storyline is. Worse still is when a man feels the need to explain why it is such a terrible movie by listing specific examples of actions taken by the paperweight characters or the agonisingly predictable dialogue.

Note to men the world over: WE ALREADY KNOW!

Please give us some credit. Yes, we know the frumpy and slightly awkward drunk woman will win the heart of her handsome, intelligent man in the end. Yes, we understand the likelihood of a ditzy bouncing blonde with an unhealthy obsession to the colour pink speaking in front of US Congress to let her gay dog get marrried is a little far-fetched, and even that a woman would be hardpressed to choose between Ryan Gosling and, oops...sorry, I mean 'Noah' and 'Lan' is ridiculous, but here's another tip: WE DON'T CARE!  

Seriously, I know it's all crap but I love nothing more than escaping to another room and watching a chick flick in private in order to immerse myself in the romanticism and adventure unfolding before me. After looking after a 17 month old toddler all day, I think the least I deserve is 90 minutes of fabulous hollywood dross. Wouldn't you agree?

Let's be honest, even if you're lucky enough to have a man who sits through chick flicks with you in...gasp!...silence, more often than not his silence is so loud! The heavy breathing (and not in a good way), the long sighs of bewilderment, and always moving on the couch to get comfortable is very off-putting. While he's there you can't sniff, wipe away tears or really get caught-up in the moment as much as you'd like to because you are constantly reminded of his presence.

Well, I say poop to that. Gimme a block of chocolate, a glass of red wine, a big blanket and a box of tissues to enjoy my cinematic feast of fluff and I'll be the happiest woman alive. Honestly, Teach would be happy with that arrangement too - as long as he was at the pub watching soccer.

Luckily Teach and I came to an understanding very early on in our relationship (funnily enough without an actual conversation ever taking place about this subject) that I would not ask him to watch a chick flick with me, if he never asks me to watch a football game with him. Deal!

After several years and a thousand movies later, I am very pleased to say that our agreement is still in perfect working order with no review in sight. Perhaps that's why we work? He understands my need for trash and I understand his need to trash talk to the TV, in private, without fear of being judged or harassed for crying during the closing credits. And that's just Teach! Don't get me started on what I do at the end of a sob-fest movie!


Image: The Notebook from here

Saturday 7 July 2012

10 Ways to Beat Stress



Do you suffer from stress? If not, it is highly likely that you know someone who does. I recently read a magazine article that revealed 21 per cent of Australian women aged between 16 and 44 years suffered from an anxiety disorder. Surprisingly, I wasn't shocked by this statistic as I have previously struggled with anxiety.

Five years ago I was working as a PR Account Manager and had recently ended a long-term relationship. At the time, I thought my nailbiting, oversensitivity and severe acne were merely signs of trying to cope with work demands and very long hours in the office (and perhaps one to many glasses of red wine in the evenings) but thanks to several open and honest conversations with a few close girlfriends, a little research and soul searching, I realised I was living with anxiety.

My lightbulb moment came one friday afternoon when I couldn't get involved in a conversation with colleagues during after-work drinks, for fear of being judged, scrutinised and generally convinced that everyone hated me. The panic swept through my body at a rate of knots and I immediately made excuses of having a headache and jumped in the first cab home before I broke down in tears. I was so shocked by my actions and response to the situation, I knew instantly I needed to find out what was going on in my head.

Now, other than my closest friends and Teach, I have never spoken about my experience because I thought confiding in someone that I suffered anxiety would generate the same type of response as when you tell them you have a fear of spiders, the dark or black cats walking under ladders - they'd look at you in confusion and try to convince you otherwise. Besides, I didn't want to be judged (a double-edged sword for someone with anxiety!).

Honestly, I don't know why I have decided to reveal this to you now, but after reading the story on anxiety I felt compelled to share with you my 10 tips for beating stress and turning anxiety on its head because it is more common than we realise, and it can be resolved.

10 WAYS TO BEAT STRESS

1. MEDITATION
Relaxation is very important to allow your mind to breathe and reboot. Simple, slow breathing can work wonders to hep you feel grounded, at ease and re-energise your soul. If you're not one with meditation, try reading, a massage or having a bath. Any activity that eliminates noise and gives you 20 peaceful minutes to yourself.

2. DO THINGS YOU VALUE
Do you say 'Yes' to everyone and never yourself? Try taking on less or re-evaluate the duties you've been assigned and do the ones you find value in. Don't spread yourself too thin.

3. FAMILY AND FRIENDS
If you start feeling the signs of an anxiety attack coming on or your in a stressful situation, call your friends and family or pop over for a cup of tea. A good social support network can remind you that you are 'allowed' to be yourself, have fun and be comfortable.

4. RE-EVALUATE THE MOMENT
Picture yourself looking in to the scenario and try to view it from an outsider's perspective. Is it as bad as you think it is? Would someone else think, act or feel the same way in that situation? Sometimes by dis-engaging you can view it objectively and remove emotion. Afterwards, return to the moment and focus on the here and now, not the past or 'what if' of the future.

5. USE HUMOUR
Got a friend who always makes you laugh? Well, get chatting and have a side-tickling time. Finding the funny side of a situation can help reduce fear. Other simple ways to get laughing could include watching a funny DVD or spending time with kids - children can come up with the best one-liners!

6. A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
Alcohol is not the answer. Trust me! Eating nutrious food, getting adequate sleep and regular excerise all help to fight daily stresses. Personally, I found exercise gave me one hour to myself each day to think (see Point 1) and recharge the batteries.

7. POSITIVE THINKING
Thanks to the number one best seller 'The Secret', the power of positive thinking got a bad wrap, but it worked for me. By turning the negative thoughts I was having about myself into positive affirmations I started feeling better about myself. The simplicity of: "I am an intelligent and valuable person" is very powerful. Find one that suits you and write it down. Read it as often as you need to.

8. LEARN TO SAY NO
Similar to Point 2, learning to say No is crucial to develop boundaries. You don't need to do everything to win other's approval, so be honest to yourself and to others from the beginning. If they don't like it, they aren't worth having around.

9. PRIORITISE YOURSELF
If you are stressed, exhausted and anxious to the point of burnout you will have trouble being of any use to yourself, let alone someone else. Value You!

10. SELF COMPASSION
Remember the Ben Lee song, "We are all in this together". You are not alone and we all feel stressed at some time. Take comfort in the knowledge that you are meant to be here and you are loved.


These tips are a combination of my own thoughts and points sourced from Madison Magazine. 

Wednesday 4 July 2012

Forever Young



Words can not convey emotions felt in one's heart.
Actions are no consolation for your sudden absence.
Only love, strength and courage will carry us forward one day at a time;
Like the memory of your smile, laughter and unbreakable spirit will live on in each of us left behind.

Forever young.
Forever a friend.
Forever a brother-in-law gone too soon.


Thursday 28 June 2012

Children's Books

Does your child like books? Ever since E was born Teach and I have made an effort to read him a book every day to introduce him to the wonderful worlds stories create. More than anything it's also a very affordable form of entertainment, easily transportable and always crowd pleasing.

Spot books are his favourite, but Grug is up there as a strong contender as the bedtime book.

Today, while visiting the State Library, E found Dig Dig Digging, a book that combines his love of stories, bright colours and TRUCKS! Now the word truck is in capitals because as soon as his little eyes landed on the cover he squealed with delight, as if to say 'Oh My God....Twwwucks!'

Teach and I were in fits of laughter because we'd never heard anything like it. How could I resist such a sensational sound? I bought it instantly of course (spoiling him much?) and it's now been read close to 10 times in the space of half an hour. Obviously, the more convincing the sound effects, the more times you have to read the book. But that's OK with me. I couldn't think of a better way to spend time with E than reading a book that makes him laugh and come back for story time with Mumma and Dadda day after day. 

Which books do you read for your children? Is there one in particular you can't live without?


Sunday 24 June 2012

When Underwear Is Overdone


‘What size are you?’ the helpful sales assistant asked me. 

‘Um, 12 something,’ I said in reply hoping the woman could read my mind and know instinctively what I meant by ‘something’ so I didn't have to admit my small boob size out loud. To a stranger.  

‘You look like a B, but you could be an C,’ she said staring directly at my breasts as if her eyes could weigh and measure them in one scan. 

Ha! I laughed heartily on the inside. C. I wish! And with that, Roxy signalled for me to raise my arms so she could measure the circumference of my chest and back including Thelma and Louise – which, after 15 months of breastfeeding, look like two droopy, pitiful dog ears. 

‘Yes. 12B it is,’ she declared triumphantly with herself.

There I was, in a self-imposed hell, with my new friend Roxy at David Jones attempting to purchase a bra. I didn't care which bra, just as long as it wasn't covered in mould from breast milk stains and sagging at the nipples. 

You see, it has been close to two years since my last bra purchase as I have lived every day in the same three maternity bras. One black, one white and one flesh-coloured, all bought on the same day when I was approximately 5 months pregnant with E and growing at a speed of knots. 

I was so desperate to buy anything that fit and wouldn’t make me scream in pain with each body movement, so I selected three of the ugliest bras you could find and have worn them everyday since. Their mission: Satisfactorily accomplished. Now it's time for the bin.

Gee, I feel like a young child kneeling before you in a confessional, but it’s true. Two years! I can’t remember the last time I felt the silky touch of a La Perla undergarment between my fingertips as I daydreamed I could afford such an item on the way to the Bonds section. 

And why stop there, while down here helplessly in front of you, dear reader, I may as well admit it’s also been close to three years since I bought a pair of knickers. GASP!! Please don't tell anyone. 

But I wonder, is an admission of that magnitude as bad as revealing that I don’t brush my teeth before bed or I use the last of the toilet paper and don’t replace the roll? Apparently so.

A few of my girlfriends think not buying new underwear – bra, knickers or the like – every month or two should be punishable by law. And here’s why:

Friend A: ‘Eeeew! How do you respect yourself if you don’t buy new underwear every so often? Just buy a new pair with your weekly shop at Woolworths.’ 

Friend B (after she composed herself from the shock): ‘Are you serious? Doesn’t new underwear help you feel special for those moments?’  

Friend C (my personal favourite): ‘Do they offer any support or suck you in like they should?’ 

My response to all of them was the same, “I haven’t bothered to think about it while I’ve been playing Mum. It never crossed my mind that I should buy new underwear.” Obviously, that is, until now. 

One morning as I was getting dressed for work, I looked at my underwear draw with new eyes – or should that be with my Mummy eyes removed – and suddenly everything I owned seemed old, out-dated and plain daggy. 

Now E is down to one breastfeed a day and I’m planning to return to a routine that semi-resembles a life I once knew, and for some reason, underwear has become my clothing du jour to celebrate said transition.  
 
Now, while I’m not the kinda girl who spends $50 on one pair of briefs only to hand wash them and lay them on a towel in the shade to dry (who could be bothered?!), I will purchase several bras and pants of the same style and colour if I find they not only fit well, but will potentially last forever. I’ve even been known (to myself) to purchase designer underwear on sale if the tag reads: Machine Wash With Like Colours. Jackpot! 

But that was another life. This past year and a half I have been quite content sitting around the house in my granny undies. And who seriously cares if I do? Side note: perhaps this is another reason why I haven’t headed back to the lingerie section for some time? That and I’ve felt like Brittany Spears on hiatus of late (i.e. all junk food and no exercise or personal grooming of any kind). 

But that day, before work, a wave of embarrassment came over me and I headed to DJs on my lunch break.

“Try these on, and this and... this,” Roxy said handing me 4 different bras, French panties and a lacy camisole. 

I told Roxy I had run out of time and promised I’d be back the following day to buy the items she selected for me. I smiled, handed back the garments and left. 

I hated lying to my new friend, especially one who had supported me so nicely for those past few minutes, but she knew without saying a word, that all I wanted was a t-shirt bra and some comfy knickers to keep me going. She smiled back at me, knowing only too well I was headed for Target.   

She was right! Now I am the proud owner of more new underwear than I could have hoped for in DJs and I won’t need to go back until E’s at school. That’s 4 years away. Score! 

Image: Model Eva Herzigova in that Wonderbra Ad

Friday 22 June 2012

Jewellery: Chelsea de Luca

Jewellery has always been one of those personal style pieces I admire on others but can never muster the courage to wear myself. Sure I have the standard gold hoop earrings, one or two silver rings I can't live without and a little silver cuff I wear every now and then, but nothing that really stands out as a piece de resistance from my jewellery box.

Women who adorne statement necklaces, bold earrings and eye catching rings with a certain irrevence, are a wonder to me. You know the pieces I mean - exquisite jewels the size of the Hope Diamond wrapped in diamonds, pearls or even industrial metal dripping from ears, neck lines, wrists and sometimes barely staying on fingers because of its weight.

Yep, some chicks just have that incredible knack of pulling off statement pieces with a magnificent style and confidence that I find myself saying, 'I wish I could wear that.'

This happened again while browsing at Chelsea de Luca, a Brisbane jewellery designer who creates amazing one-off pieces that I have fallen a little bit in love with. Each design evokes classic old world charm with specific vintage inspired pieces. Sprinkled with Swarovski crystals and unique embellishments, you are sure to find a piece that will make any outfit sparkle. 

After some time in her flagship store on James Street, I had to be escorted from the building before I started to cry...it was all too beautiful for words - not to mention the pain I wanted to inflict on my credit card!

But would I wear it? Absolutey! For unique creations such as these, I would step out of my comfort zone and risk looking like a crazy old bag lady wearing everything she owns. Why? Well, I'm a little bit obsessed! Who wouldn't be? It's heaven sent!

Image: Chelsea de Luca

Thursday 14 June 2012

Havagdweekend

It was such a magnificent winter's day in Brisbane today (24 degrees!) that I can't wait to get out and about this weekend with my two favourite boys and enjoy the city's many outdoor offerings, including a little fresh fruit shopping at the West End Markets and a beverage or two at the Brisbane Powerhouse

If you're in Brisbane too and have a child (or know someone with children) under 8 years of age, I highly recommend visiting QPAC's Out of the Box Festival. My sister in-law and I took E this morning and had a great time (watch out for that post coming soon).

Kids can read books, hear stories, watch plays, walk through a Sticky Maze, bend and breathe at Baby Yoga, get moving to music and just have fun. The best part? Because the festival is designed for little ones, the wise crew from QPAC have provided Mums and Dads several Pram Stations where you can park your stroller for free if you don't need it between tents. Love that!!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Whatever you're doing. Here's a few things to help kick it off:

30 Days of Grateful

A Trio of Tales

Missed Hamish and Andy's Euro Gap Year premiere last night? See it here.

Grrrrr! I know a little boy who would love this.

Daddy, Buy Me a Pony

Decorate with JT. Seriously!

One Yummy Mummy and her adorable baby boy

Image from here

Wednesday 13 June 2012

James Street - Brisbane's Shopping Mecca

Grab the girls for a day on James Street
“Shall we do EP first or S&B?” I asked my girlfriend as we pulled up in the car.

“Oooh...tough one. Let’s start at Sass & Bide, grab a coffee and then make our way up to Easton Pearson,” she replied. Deal! 

My faithful shopping companion and I had arrived for a day of retail therapy on James Street, Brisbane’s stylish oasis for Fashionistas, Fashion Die-Hards and us, the Fashion Wannabes. 

Located in Fortitude Valley on the north side of the CBD, James Street is the Queensland capital’s equivalent to Sydney’s Oxford Street and Chapel Street in Melbourne, and today it was our playground. Yippee!

As we entered the double-glass doors of Sass & Bide (Cnr James & Doggett St) we realised we might need more than a coffee to keep us going, because our arms were full of goodies and we’d only just started.
After deciding on a bright orange statement necklace (her) and a stunning ruby red Tee (me) we picked up two espressos to go from Jamie’s (Cnr James & Robertson St) and headed straight to James Lane (65 James Street), an enclave of boutiques alongside the main street. 

Made up of FrockShop (the online store’s first Australian retail space), Jules & Roc, Vanguard Design Boutique, Nat-Sui Shoes and many others, James Lane is a style hub in its own right.  It’s also home to Paul Hunt, a Brisbane couture label gaining international attention for its bridal gowns.

Taking full advantage of the buzz of caffeine, we crossed the road to try-on jeans in French Connection (50 James Street), embellished skirts at Easton Pearson (60 James Street) and amazing dresses in Kisses (50 James Street) - a much-loved boutique dedicated to offering a range of gorgeous women’s fashion including Collette Dinnigan, Paige and Josh Goot.

Remembering I had to pick up a birthday present for my Mum, I turned back towards Libertine Parfumerie (181 Robertson Street), a Parisian inspired boutique for world-class fragrances, while my fashion-savvy friend continued her way up James Street to drool over the shoes in Gary Castles Sydney (73 James Street) and admire one-off samples in Leona Edmiston Vintage (60 James Street entry via Arthur Street). 

Apart from the international designers and leading Australian labels (think Witchery, Mimco, Scanlon and Theodore, ksubi, Alexis Dawn etc...) that make up the fashion landscape of James Street, the area originally found success in the 90s as a place for well-to-do locals to purchase luxury home wares and see independent films at the cinema.

Today, the shopping hub offers visitors a skilful mix of food providores, independent art galleries, spa retreats, award-winning restaurants, and of course, fabulous fashion. But it was a satisfying glass of Sauvignon-Blanc at Cru Bar & Cellar (22 James Street) that provided well deserved respite for two shopping-tragics at the end of a very fashionable day.

“So, same time next week for the other half of the street?” I asked. “Absolutely, I’ll drink to that!”  

Image provided by Tourism Queensland

Sleeping Beauty: One Tired Parent Gets Sleep

Holy schmoly it's been three (yes 3!!) weeks since this Mumma put her child back to sleep without the helpful aid of Thelma and Louise, aka Mummy's Milk Bar, aka Mrs Funbags, aka Mole Hills formerly known as Mountains.

You read that correctly my dear readers, I haven't breastfed E back to sleep in three weeks and we are on track to achieve a solid 12 hours sleep - Teach and me that is!

You're all well aware of the trials and tribulations Teach and I have gone through in the past 12 months. Sleepless nights. Constant waking. Not to mention one attempt after another to cut the apron strings, give a little tough love and teach E to sleep without my help. Pffft! Silly me for trying, right? Why would E want to learn how to sleep when he had access to the 24hr Milk Bar with no running tab! It's every man's dream.

Oh, yeah! We were rockin' and rollin' all night long, hoppin' and boppin' and singin' a song. Only after weeks on end of rockin' every half hour, this Little Mumma and her Big Boppa needed to hang up their dancin' shoes and pack away E's party supplies.

But I was petrified. How on earth do I make the change? Can I stop feeding E at night immediately or do I wind it back slowly? How do I know he'll be OK?

I couldn't read any more books telling me what works for other Mothers. I appreciated hearing the various case studies, but I desperately need to talk to someone about my situation and gain tailored advice. So I contacted Jo Ryan from BabyBliss for a half hour telephone consultation and hung up feeling empowered, confident and committed to making a change.

Teach and I discussed what Jo recommended and both felt it was the best thing to do for all of us. Before we put it in motion, we told E.

I don't know why I felt this part of the process was important, but Teach and I agreed that we should prepare him as well as we could. He understands other topics we talk about like birds, cars and books so why wouldn't he comprehend that Mumma wasn't going to bring Thelma and Louise out at night anymore? I wrote down Jo's advice and over several nights (between the half hour wakes) he would hear that the end was nigh but everything would be OK. 

E took to the changes like Russell Brand takes to a pretty blonde girl. Very quickly and with 100% enthusiasm.

On the first night he obviously vented his anger and frustration, but we made our way through it and surprisingly had a good night sleep - at least four consecutive hours. Bliss!

From that moment we haven't looked back. But don't hate me just yet, E will still wake once or twice at random times during the evening, but who doesn't? It's almost as if he wakes to make sure we know he's there, then he rolls over and promptly returns to sleep like the amazing little man that he is.

Woo Hoo!! Three weeks and counting. I can feel a girls night coming on!

In all seriousness, our sincerest thanks to Jo for her support, guidance and encouragment. We couldn't have done it with out her.
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