Shopping made easy for men

The school holidays brings a sense of excitment to our lives because it means Teach is on holidays too and he can spend more time with E during the day - when he's at his most playful - and me - who tends to be slightly nicer before exhaustion sets it around 5pm when he usually gets home. Unfortunately, school holidays also means other children and their parents are on holidays too. This brings a sense of fear and trepidation to my life...especially when I have to go shopping!
I usually take on shopping trips during the school holidays like a soldier on the frontline. Prepare for the worst. I tend to combat roll across an unobstructed pathway or door so I don't stir up the enemy and simply get in and out as fast as I can.

Today, I decided to take extra precautions going into the war zone of Carindale Shopping Centre and take Teach as security.

We needed to divide and conquer our shopping list in one hour before E became overtired and refused to fall asleep when he got home from our expedition. Who would be faster in their store and who would be better off taking E? Who knew? We flipped for it and E went with Teach to do the groceries while I darted around Target hunting and gathering baby supplies for summer. We synchronized our watches and agreed to complete our tasks and meet back at Check Point Car Park 45 minutes later.

At first, it was easy. It was actually very liberating to walk around a shopping centre in search of baby goods while all the other Mums had a pram, toddler and shopping carts in tow. I was in and out in under 25 minutes with not only my shopping list ticked off, but time to meander around the ladies fashion section in search of my own summer supplies...as one does when one does not have a crying child on her hip.

Because I had time up my sleeve I thought I'd meet Teach and E at the store to help them complete the difficult 'Stock Cupboards' mission. I shouldn't have bothered!

I arrived by their side to over hear several staff ask Teach if they could organise his groceries to be home delivered because, "You've got your hands full with that gorgeous little boy. We'll have them delivered this afternoon. It's no trouble at all." Um....excuse me? Since when do grocery stores offer to have your food delivered to your house because the parent (read: man) is looking after a child (read: his own 7 month old baby)?

I acknowledge the staff were just trying to be helpful but how many times do women do the groceries with children - more often than not there's more than one - and we rarely, if ever, receive offers of help. Put a man behind a trolley and instantly women are clamouring to help him...sometimes even without a child!

I was in such a state of shock I was waiting for the following announcement to come on over the PA: 'Attention Shoppers. The father in aisle 6 needs our urgent assistance because he is looking after his son while his thoughtless partner has abondanded them to shop elsewhere. There could be an extended delay at the check outs and deli counter while we fawn all over him and his adorable baby. Thank you for your understanding and patience.'

Seriously people, WTF?

With our groceries done (Teach was grateful for their offer to help but declined the service) we replayed the incident in a coversation on the way back to the car, when I said, 'I bet they didn't ask that lady if they could help her.' Teach looked over to where I was pointing and saw a young woman pushing two children in a pram, carrying a baby in a sling on her chest and trying to wheel a trolley full of groceries down the escalator. 

'Nuff said.