Back to work

The time has come to pack away the bath robe and slippers, unpack the corporate suits and polish up my fancy shoes because this Mumma his heading back to the workforce. Eeeek!

I finished up at my previous job a little more than one year ago. I remember cleaning out my desk and handing over a pile of business cards to my replacement and thinking, 'Thank god I don't have to use these again.' The only cards I collect now are ones from close friends and family celebrating E's arrival and business cards from Day Cares where E is on the waiting list.

Since starting a "life of luxury" I haven't needed to worry about having enough change for the bus in the morning, or that my jackets were dry cleaned before a big meeting or what incorrect story The Courier Mail was going to write about my client.

Nope, the most I worried about in the past 13 months was made up of more important issues like is E feeding enough during the day so he'll sleep at night? Am I about to run out of nappies and what sunscreen should I buy a baby so I don't fill his precious skin with chemicals? Does he have enough to keep him interested during the day? What should I make us for lunch? Etc... etc... The pressure may not be as high, but it's pressure nonetheless. Now I have to find a way to answer both. Correctly. First time. Every time. Obviously.

As this week rolls on and the first day of my new job gets closer my excitement for getting back into my career is slowly turning into panic. Not only will I start a new job in a new corporate environment, but all my work clothes resemble a tent an elephant would wear - a very faded and ugly tent thanks to the behemoth I was during pregnancy (not that there's anything wrong with that), AND I have to get E organised and ready to start Day Care in as many days. Two whammies on one day. I don't do things by halves do I?

Do I give in to these feelings of anxiousness and fear of getting back on the corporate treadmill after the longest break in my career to date, or do I focus on getting my darling boy through his first day (and week) away from home without Mum? 

I keep thinking, he'll be all alone in the big bad world with only his cute chubby smile to defend him? Yes, I'm completely overreacting, of course he's got cute chubby arms and legs that pack a mighty punch too, but you know what I mean.

The longest I've left E since he was born is 5 hours. Even then I was a prisoner of my own sweat-drenched panic because I was convinced he was having a melt down without me there to provide comfort (i.e. boobs) and I would regret going shopping with my girlfriends instantly.

Of course I got home, E was sound asleep and Teach didn't even realise five hours had passed. My emotional state was completely over the top and a result of me not learning to let go and have someone else - his very capable Daddy no less - look after him.

If that's what I was like six months ago, I'd hate to think what I'll be like after E's first eight hours in Day Care with a random stranger! Most probably hiding in the corner of the house, rocking back and forth in the arm chair with my arms wrapped firmly around E staring off in to the distance chantting, 'there's no place like home, there's no place like home.' 

Actually, that's reminded me, I need to get to the bottleo and stock up on a few good bottles of Red. This Mumma's gonna need it!

All Aboard the Workforce Express!

I've been on maternity leave since December last year, even though E wasn't due until February. I decided to take off early in order to wind down from work, have Christmas at home with family and enjoy the last few weeks of my pregnancy at home nesting. 

While the year is almost up. It feels like it has gone by in the blink of an eye.

When E first arrived I would sit with him and think, 'Imagine the day when you'll sit up by yourself.'

Then I would say to Teach, 'Just wait until he's crawling around, we won't know what hit us.'

Now, I'm thinking (and somewhat pleading to the heavens), 'Where's my baby gone? He's such a little man now,' and he's only 8 months old.

Being able to stay at home and care for E in his first year has been incredible, for him and me. We've definitley had our moments of desperation, exhaustion and frustration (especially on my behalf) but I wouldn't change our time together for anything. I'm very grateful that Teach and I have been able to afford the luxury of me not working...until now.

Yep, the time has come for me to haul my tired arse back to the work force, but it goes with a degree of anxiety and confusion because it's taken me a good part of the year to forget Career Girl Sian and comfortably settle into Mumma mode. How do I mix-it-up and do both? 

Yesterday, I joined the other Yummy Mummys at our weekly Mothers Group catch up. A majority of us are passengers on the Workforce Express boat so the conversation consisted of many personal questions such as: Would you recommend Child Care or Family Day Care? Should I look for vacancies in a centre near home or work? What sort of standards are we searching for? What is a good benchmark to compare child care centres? What is the average cost for one child per week? Does anyone know of a centre that is happy for you to use cloth nappies?

The one burning question I had, that I didn't voice was, how the hell will I cope not looking after E each day?


It was incomprehensible to me one year ago that I could survive as a Stay-at-Home Mum. I thought I would  'lose myself' in Motherly duties and go a bit batty (more so than usual that is). But it seems the opposite is true.

I love being the main carer for E during the day. We play adorable little games that no-one else knows. We sing songs together that no-one else knows (Ok, I sing and he just nods along). We go to the park, to weekly Baby Sensory classes, Mother's Group and on shopping expeditions.

I know his little idiosyncrasies and he knows mine - maybe better than Teach? Yes, we have our moments like many others do, but I sincerely cherish this time we've had together and I know I will miss it - I completely understand now what people mean when they say 'This time goes so fast'. Fast? It's bloody lightning speed and I'm holding on for dear life!!

Needless to say, SJP's new movie I Don't Know How She Does It is very timely. I might need to organise a Mother's Group catch up at a Babes in Arms session to watch, listen and learn what to do and what not to do.    

If you have any tips on how to cope with this transition, I'd love to hear it.