To invite or not to invite?

A good friend and I were chatting about her upcoming nupitals over a glass of wine on Saturday.

Sally is getting married to her delightful fiance in Fiji early next year. She is extremely excited and has most of the elements organised including her dress, the venue and a photographer. Despite her great organisation, Sally confided in me that she's nervous to send out the invitations because she isn't sure whether or not to invite a former friend and her husband.



Now a bit of background...Sally is a true sweetheart. A soul to the earth, genuine girl. She would never do anything that might upset someone and always considers others before herself. So when she told me she thought she needed to invite this 'friend', it was no surprise the decision was causing her anxiety. 

Apparently Sally and this girl were close as kids but they hadn't seen or spoken to each other since they were roughly 13. Not knowing someone anymore is one thing, but Sally's dilemma comes from having been invited to the girl's own wedding two years ago - which she couldn't attend. Does Sally have to invite the girl in return when she'd prefer not to?

Honestly, I'm not sure what I would do in this situation either. I'm not married and would hate to be faced with this decision. You've got to consider the expense, being seen to do the 'right' thing, not hurting anyone's feelings etc... but surely in this day and age Sally should be free to invite whomever she chooses sans the guilt trip, right?

We all know weddings are expensive. The average shebang costs an Australian couple close to $40,000. If you're going to spend that kind of money I'd think you'd only want your nearest and dearest to attend.

Yes I acknowledge there are circumstances when you have to invite long lost family members to save your parents the heartache and questioning phone calls, but which friends are invited should be left to the Bride and Groom. You always hear a couple say that they felt they didn't get a chance to talk to everyone, so why waste time making small talk with people you hardly know anymore?

I'd love to know what you did / would do. Should Sally invite her 'friend' and save herself from the inevitable flack she'd receive for not inviting her or follow her heart? In the end, I suggested not inviting her 'friend' and if questioned, just explain her Great Uncle Geoffrey has returned after 20 years in Tibet and her Mum would be devastated if he wasn't included - or something along those lines.