Today, I found this fantastic story by Richard Glover highlighting several rebuttals to the very popular book Go the _____ to sleep! Richard sheds light on why some tiny tots across Oz can't sleep.
Here's a sample:
Dear Baby Amnesty,
In Guantanamo Bay, music was used to break down the will of the inmates and a similar operation is currently under way in Vimiera Road, Marsfield, in the flat occupied by Terry and Tina O’Brien. I am also resident in the home, in my role as their four-year-old son. Considering she is a first-time mother, my assessment is that Tina is making quite a good fist of things. The same, however, cannot be said of Terry, who seems to be under the misapprehension that he can sing. He has one song: a tuneless rendition of Along the Road to Gundagai, in which most of the words are wrong – how can a shack wind back to a half-deserted track? – and the notes are not so much hit as bludgeoned to death. Worst of all, I can hear him smugly boasting to mummy that I fall asleep almost as soon as he starts up. Can’t he tell: I’ll do anything to make the torture stop?
Yours in pain,
Mark O’Brien, age 4.
My poor confused darling boy might pen something like this:
Dear Baby Amnesty,
I'm unable to date this letter for you as I'm not sure what day it is. You see, while I use to know what to expect between Monday and Friday, my darling Mother found a new book and now has me trialling some tortuous routine. I only get fed every four hours not on demand, I'm forced to sleep during the day which is severley interfering with my favourite soap-opera Bananas in Pajamas (can someone tell me if B1 & B2 made it down the hill yesterday please?), but more importantly this supposed 'routine' changes everyday because the silly woman wants to go out all the time. We go to the park, shopping, visit her friends and some days she even has me at something called a playgroup! Two days are never the same. What the hell is going on? I'm in the dark here and no-one is communicating with me. It's as if I'm suppose to know what she wants me to do telepathically, then sleep at the drop of a hat... WTF?
On a side note, please pass on my deepest sympathies to everyone at ABC4Kids. Mum told me it no longer goes to air from 10am. Apparently it just stopped. It's so sad for all involved, especially Big Ted. He's been there forever, but I'm sure his pay out was HUGE!
Yours sincerely,
E xo (Brisbane Australia)
What would your bubba have to say?
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